Wipe-Out

Just as nature abhors a vacuum so I have a deep loathing of swimming. Not because I can’t swim (in my triathlon days I used to average around 12K of swim training a week) but because I really do not enjoy it.  I’m not blessed with natural talent in the pool and I really suffer from the cold. I guess I just don’t have the body composition that is suited to hours in the water. Swim sessions were a means to an end back then, essential in ensuring that I was still in with a chance to claw back lost ground when I came into my own on the bike and run sections of a triathlon. Unfortunately, today I’ve have to resort to the same philosophy. Those who know me well will fully appreciate that something quite serious must have occurred to force me back into the water, and yes it has. I have a knee injury. Without being too much of a drama queen, an injury really is an athlete’s worst nightmare. In surfing terms this is equivalent to a calamitous wipe-out.

There I was rolling along, managing my lymphoedema carefully and meticulously, recording all the data and completing every workout exactly as prescribed. In previous blog posts I’ve already mentioned my zeal in following the plan that Coach Helen and I had devised, this is one of my strengths, but can also be my downfall as I become wedded to it. One of the risk factors of a testing sample of just one, is that it needs that ‘one’ to be able to fulfil the all the requirements of the testing protocol; illness or injury was always going to be a threat, and lamentably the worst has happened.

Without any prior notice, last week I suddenly felt a sharp pain in my right knee; it felt like I’d been kicked right on the tip of the knee cap. It was hard to work out what had happened and for quite a few days I continued to train. Although for many sufferers Lymphoedema is completely pain free, for others it can be quite excruciatingly painful. I wondered if this was the explanation behind my soreness, especially as just the day before I had started to wear compression during exercise in addition to general day-to-day use. There was swelling around my knee, but then there has been quite a lot of swelling around my knee for months, a consequence of the Lymphoedema. I ignored the warning signs and kept pushing on, but eventually the pain was too much and my knee was getting noticeably more swollen. I knew already in my heart, but it was just too overwhelming to admit, that I had to stop IMMEDIATELY. Thankfully the sound advice from my good friend Fi on Monday evening finally made me take notice.

Had I suffered this sort of pain pre-Lymphoedema, I would have stopped training at once, but this time I allowed myself to get duped into believing that I didn’t have an injury. In the rational light of day this seems to be utter madness, but I know why; the ‘Lymphoedema Management Plan’ has been my lifeline, it’s enabled me to feel that I’m in control of it, not it of me. To stop and admit that I had an injury that would ‘break’ the plan just wasn’t an option I was prepared to consider. Ceasing to train would have a massive impact on the rigour of our study, and would invalidate the data we are so carefully collating.

Once the decision to stop was made, I was suddenly cast adrift, and that pathetically sorry feeling washed over me again and again and again. Yes, there were tears, but I’m getting better at dealing with this and processing my self-pity, so it hasn’t lasted too long! Two days of rest, ice and ibuprofen gel have made a difference and the pain has lessened somewhat. Tomorrow I see Alison at Sportswise for a physio appointment and am sure that she will get to the bottom of the problem. Then I’ll just have to enact a new plan, a rehab plan. For now, the Lymphoedema-management plan has been delayed but not forsaken.